Nine Ways to Get Your Child to Their First Tutoring Session (and Nine Things to Avoid)

Some children can’t wait for tutoring. They ask for extra sessions, do more homework than required, and see it as an exciting opportunity. If you’re here, chances are your child isn’t one of them. They might think tutoring is unnecessary, a waste of time, or even a form of punishment.

But you know it can help — whether it’s to build skills, boost confidence, or provide support in tricky subjects. The challenge? Getting them through the door for that very first session without drama.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, here are nine strategies that work, and nine common tactics that might backfire.

1. Talk it through

Presenting tutoring as a decision you’ve made without discussion is a quick route to resistance. Instead, explain your reasoning — that tutoring isn’t a punishment, you don’t think they’re “dumb,” and you want them involved in the process. Listening to their concerns builds trust and makes the idea less intimidating.

2. Offer genuine praise

A first tutoring session means opening up to a stranger — that takes courage. Beforehand, highlight their strengths: perseverance, creativity, resilience. Be specific (“I love how you stick with your soccer training even when it’s tough”) so they can’t brush it off as “just something parents say.”

3. Be willing to bargain

Your child’s schedule is busy — school, activities, friends, downtime. Adding tutoring might feel like “too much.” Show you value their time by negotiating swaps (e.g., tutoring instead of an activity they’ve lost interest in) or offering something they’ve wanted to try in return. Keep it balanced — bargaining isn’t bribery.

4. Prepare them

Not knowing what to expect can be stressful. Explain the basics:

The tutor will talk about schoolwork, interests, and goals — no surprise tests.
Sessions usually run under an hour.
They don’t need to bring anything unless they want to.
The tutor’s name and how to address them will be clear.

If they still have questions, ask the tutor or company in advance. A little preparation can go a long way in calming nerves.

5. Lower the stakes

Make it clear that their reaction to the session won’t change your relationship. Plan something enjoyable for afterwards — dinner out, a park visit, a movie — regardless of how it goes. This separates the experience from pressure or performance.

6. Agree on signals

For kids who get overwhelmed, create simple ways to communicate during the session:

A texted keyword for “I need to leave.”
A thumbs-up for “I’m fine, no need to worry.”

Afterwards, keep the first question simple: “Should we do another session?” This gives them a choice without requiring an immediate deep dive into details.

7. Set shared goals

Work with your child to set tutoring goals — academic or personal. You might want better maths marks; they might want to keep you from nagging about homework. Both are valid and help the tutor understand their priorities.

8. Manage expectations

Tutoring won’t instantly make someone smarter or happier. Instead, it can offer new strategies, better study habits, and more confidence. Let your child know they control what they share — they can keep personal topics private.

9. Learn alongside them

Show solidarity by learning something yourself while they’re in tutoring — a new language, skill, or hobby. Sharing challenges builds connection and shows that learning is a lifelong process.

Nine Tactics to Avoid

Bribery or threats – Creates resentment and reduces motivation.
Springing it on them – Surprises cause anxiety; give notice.
Pulling rank – “Because I said so” shuts down communication.
Comparisons – Against siblings, classmates, or friends damages self-esteem.
Dismissiveness – Minimising their concerns makes them feel unheard.
Guilt-tripping – Even if it works, it’s not a healthy motivator.
Martyrdom – Sacrificing yourself for their opportunities shouldn’t be used as leverage.
Assumptions – Don’t impose career or ATAR goals without their input.
Blaming teachers – Shifts focus away from the real purpose: helping your child learn.

How Cluey Can Help

Our tutors are trained to work with reluctant learners and to make that first session feel welcoming, productive, and even enjoyable. We can help bridge communication between you, your child, and the tutor so sessions are tailored to their needs and progress.